Still Waiting

Until now I have not posted on the blog.  Amanda has done all the posting and has done an excellent job with it.  I finally decided it was time I write something......Well we are still in the waiting phase....or should I say back to waiting.  We had a profile showing last week and were not chosen again.  I believe that is 4 showings now with no luck.  We have not been telling that many people when our profile is being shown, just so we didn't have to go back and tell them, no not this time.  I must say each time we hear no, it does not get any easier.  Our last showing was last Friday.  This situation was everything we were looking for.  No drugs, No smoking, No Alcohol.  A healthy boy that was due in October.  We were really excited about this one and both had a great feeling about it.  We figured we would not hear an answer until sometime this week.  As each day went buy the wait got harder and harder.  Today we got the news that we were not chosen.  What made this one particularly hard was we found out the birth mom never had the intention of placing her baby for adoption anyway.  She lied to the agency.  She was on drugs and was attempting to scam the system.  Wow the first time we have run into that one.  What I can't understand is how someone can play with others feelings like that.  We have been through so much this past year or so and it definitely has been an emotional roller coaster ride.  We were so excited about this situation and then we just had the rug pulled out from under us.  And there are three other families out there tonight that have been through the same thing as us and are also feeling the same way.  I guess I will never understand how someone can toy with others feeling like that, especially when we have all been through so much.  Well now it is back to waiting. Amanda and I have always said that if it doesn't happen then it wasn't meant to be. We both have faith that our child is out there waiting for us.