Thursday, August 16, 2012

Honesty at the most..

Lets face it! WAITING SUCKS! Tick Tock.. Tick Tock.. Everyday I think about what it will be like when we are finally matched with a birth family. I can't seem to get my mind off of it. I know I have to be patient but really, this is making me nuts. I know in the end it will make me appreciate it so much more and I know that this is just how it is.. and it's  another part of this journey were on. One that will hopefully end with a little one for us to love and cherish. So for now I pray hope and wait for that phone to ring..

In the mean time I found a new reality show to watch on the oxygen channel It's called I am having their baby. When I first heard of this show I HAD to watch it! And I did even though it made me cry several times. Although I cry about everything I guess I would say I am one of those over sensitive types. Or maybe I just have a lot of love and have a lot of sympathy for others. Since starting this adoption journey my thoughts about what a birth mother/father  has changed and really revolved. They have so much bravery and so much commitment and love to want to give their baby a life that they maybe could not or are unable to provide for them.  They are amazing women and lets not forget the birth fathers. Here is a link to the show
http://features.oxygen.com/videos/I'm%20Having%20Their%20Baby/

This makes me think about how much Loss is involved in adoption. A lot of people don't realize that adoption is full of loss. Not only does the birth mother suffer a HUGE loss! As the adoptive parents  we  have suffered a great loss. That is the loss of our biological child. The one that Justin and I would always talk about.. we would say things like oh I bet he or she will have your eyes or your hair etc... It is a death a death of our dream that never happened. We have had to mourn that loss. . It has made us so much stronger.  And we are now ready to take that next step and be parents.

4 comments:

  1. I loved this post, such honest feelings. Adoption is just as hard as it is amazing. It's crazy to think that right now your birth mother could be out there expecting your baby and any day you could find out about each other. You are right, you do have to mourn the loss of the child you dreamed about, but we have a multiracial family and people tell us all of the time my son looks like my husband and let me tell you he has so many traits that are exactly like my husband. I know it's one of God's tender mercies because that was something my husband struggled with the most, having a child who didn't look like us. You will find the same in your adoption story, so many miracles and tender mercies will play out and when it is all said and done and you are holding your precious child and looking back you won't even be able to believe how everything fell into place and lined up to send this specific child to you because he truly is yours.

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  2. Thanks Jamie, I am glad we have connected. :) It's so nice to hear from other families who have been down this road and know what we are going through!

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  3. Great post. Thank you for sharing your honest feelings.

    And I hear ya! I’ve been way more anxious about the “wait” recently. It really is hard to focus on anything else.

    I checked out that program on Oxygen. I got hooked on it right away. I’ve been wanting to do more to explore the birth mom perspective. One of my blog followers recently recommended "Dear birth mother, thank you for our baby". I plan to read it soon.

    Let’s both try to hang in there!! :)

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  4. Thanks Beth! I am going to check out "Dear birth mother, thank you for our baby" it sounds good! Thanks for the support and great info! :)

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