Wednesday, July 25, 2012

They aren't lying when they call it a rollercoaster ride..

Swing and a miss.. That's about what I feel like at this point. July 11th was a crazy day for us. I was trying to focus on some design work since I have recently ran into some new opportunities with Look Love Send and Snapfish (HP). So I was in a rush to get my assignments done before we left for vacation to the Boundary Waters. As I was trying to focus on my work my cell phone rang.. I was like what the heck who's calling me on my cell phone.. those of you who know me well know that I rarely hear my cell phone or use it lol. So I ran to the top of the stairs to grab my phone which was of course buried in my purse as usual. I answered the phone a bit winded from running up the stairs. It was the sweet voice of our social worker Joanna. She then tells me about a situation in Alabama and all the details of the birth mother and family history ect.. My heart just drops immediately I can feel my heart racing along with my mind thinking.. Is this the one.. Could this be our baby? could it?? I then have to remind myself that this is only step one which is the showing of our profile. I then proceed to tell her that I have to get a hold of Justin and get back to her. So I then continue to email Justin the details. While in the middle of an email my cell phone rings again.. and once more it is that sweet voice I am dying to hear lol.. and she says we have another situation and she continues to tell me the details again.. I am now a big flustered mess thinking of what could be and all of the possibilities. Justin and I talked and decided to have both of our profiles shown to both of the birth mothers.. Unfortunately we were not chosen for either situation. Which deeply sadden me and made me start to question myself.. Is our house not big enough? Does she not like the way we look? Why didn't she choose us? Did we do something wrong in our profile? Do we not look like we'll be great parents.. What the heck?? I know have to tell myself every time I start thinking these thoughts.. That nothing is wrong with us.. It just wasn't meant to be...And the fact that we received two calls in one day was hope that were one step closer to bringing home or little one whoever or where ever she or he may be..  Until then we wait, Pray and keep hope alive.. Here are some photos from our recent boundary waters trip. I hope to post some nursery photos soon.. It's pretty much done now just need some window treatments.






2 comments:

  1. Be confident in your profile! I saw it, and it’s amazing! The right birthmom will think it’s amazing too. And, hey, just getting some activity is great news—that’s how I feel! I love that we are in the same phase and doing this together. How cool if we got matched around the same time!

    The boundary waters photos look awesome. A needed get-away, I’m sure. :)

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  2. Thanks Beth! I too love that we are in the same phase and we have someone to relate to and share things with. That would be awesome if we got matched around the same time! :)I am hoping and praying for us all that it will happen soon!

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