Friday, April 13, 2012

Adoption 101 for family and friends

Justin and  our niece Haidyn hunting for Easter eggs
Happy Spring everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Easter! I know I did it was great to spend time with my family and of course be a part of the wildness that goes on when all of our nieces and nephews are together. They have a blast and we have so much fun watching and playing along with them.

Last night Justin and I attended a speaker event at our adoption agency. The speaker was Elisabeth O'toole who has recently published a book called "In on it: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption A Guide for Relative and Friends". The introduction in the book goes as follows: One afternoon while I was wondering through the neighborhood grocery store with my son, an elderly woman approached us. White-haired and cardigan-sweatered, she was the whole package: sweet Little Old Lady. She looked intently at my baby, who was calmly surveying things from the seat of our grocery cart, then at me, happily basking in my new motherhood, and said, "look at that beautiful skin, is he adopted?"
Sigh. I was just there to pick up some fruit. Maybe a loaf of bread. I opened my mouth to respond with a irritable "you know, that is really none of your business." And Stopped. Having spent my formative years being told to repeatedly to mind my manners, I had developed a Pavlovian response to respecting my elders, even the annoying ones... The introduction then goes on to say that the elderly woman only wanted to let her know that her niece too was also adopting from China and they were all very excited. Elisabeth went on to tell us that people usually mean well when they approach you with odd questions. The Elderly woman wanted to let her know that she too was soon to be a part of the
adoption community and she was very excited about it.

That being said all of you whom are close to Justin and I will also soon be a part of that adoption community as well. Because lets face it! Adoption is different. We don't have a timeline, We don't know the sex of our baby, and as of now we really don't know a whole lot and just like you were on a pretty big learning curve. We have truly enjoyed this learning process.. I've been thinking of things and correcting myself as I speak about adoption to friends and family.  But it is now our job to learn and then share some of that with you as well as point you in the right direction to more information if needed.

One thing that was brought up by Elisabeth and in our adoption classes is positive adoption language. Below is a list of positive adoption language. Which we hope you will all think about as you too enter this adoption journey with us.
If any of you have questions about our adoption please feel free to ask us via this blog. I have found that a lot of people are sometimes afraid to ask us about it or to show an interest for fear that they may say something wrong.

For the most part everyone has been very supportive and we really appreciate everyone's love and support! We feel so blessed to have such a supportive and loving group of friends and family. We look forward to sharing more with you as we learn along the way! :)


  1. Well said! I wish Elizabeth's book had existed when I adopted Lily. It's a great resource for everyone who is touched by adoption.

  2. Jackie,
    I am so amazed by the resources available. I have been doing so much reading, attending seminars, watching videos, following other adoption blogs. I guess it is my way of passing the time while we wait. :)

  3. I'm so glad you started a blog! I'll have to check out that book!

  4. Thanks Beth! I am not the greatest writer so I was a bit hesitant but I think it is going to be a great way to share our journey with everyone. :)


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